digital_opium: (Clueless)
( Oct. 2nd, 2008 07:38 pm)
There were birds. In my fireplace.

Two of them. Trapped. This required banishment of the dogs, a towel, and a little bit of dexterity.

But why were there birds in my fireplace? Why?

No wonder my husband claims he lives in Wild Kingdom.

And of course, the obligatory egg: Adopt one today!

But... Birds? Why, birds, why?
digital_opium: (Rawr!)
( Apr. 22nd, 2008 07:37 pm)
Good game, Emma darling. It's a great pic, but the first move when turning legal age should NOT be a crotch shot.

Still a great pic, though. <3
digital_opium: (Clueless)
( Apr. 7th, 2008 04:07 am)
I can't be the only one who thinks a 'home engraving tool' is a bad, bad idea.

And no, "works on almost any surface" does *NOT* make it better.

ETA: I need an "Apply directly to the forehead!" icon. Preferably something with a wall. Or desk. Or hammer.
You ever have one of those days... one of those rare, perfect days... where every little thing goes right? You make all the green lights you want, you hit the red lights you need to, you get the perfect parking spot, every single time, and you find the place you're looking for but have never been to exactly perfect the first time? Every. Single. Thing. Goes. Right.

Thus, you know that something majorly bad is coming your way.


Things were perfect. Beautiful. Couldn't possibly, possibly gone better.

Then the cop pulled in behind me. And I instantly knew.

Okay, so my dork of a husband got a ticket 6 months ago. Six months ago. For not having the car registered. He was in an accident a while back, and the van needs work before it will pass inspection. He tells me that he can't get the car registered until it passes inspection.

Guess what I got a ticket for? Yeah. Not having the car inspected/registered. And I have 5 days to get it registered, and take the registration into the cop shop, and personally show it to the cop who pulled me over. Whee. So I call my husband, start bitching (yes, it had to be done). He says "Oh, you can just go get it registered, no problem, then take it down there." I was so fucking furious, I can't even tell you. If it was that goddamned easy, why didn't he do it six months ago? But no. He'd rather wait until he's 13 billion miles away from home, I get a ticket, and make it my problem.

I might have yelled. A lot. Loudly. In the grocery store parking lot.

Where, I might add, the cop had followed me to. Sat behind me in his cop car for a while. I wanted to get out and ask him if he was going to give me a ticket for passing go and collecting $200 or something. I sort of had second thoughts, but it was tempting. Then he drove through the parking lot. And gave a ticket to someone who was parked illegally in a handicapped spot. I sort of wanted to find the person who got the ticket and smirk. But I didn't.

Then, on my way home, I see the same short, bald, smug little bastard had another woman pulled over. And two blocks beyond that, another cop had another woman pulled over. They were surely out in full force today, pulling over people left and right. I just happened to pick a bad day to stop sniffing glue.

Yeah... when everything is going perfectly? Watch out. The universe is a fickle bitch.
digital_opium: (WTF?)
( Aug. 23rd, 2007 12:03 pm)
I understand bringing a cooler to a job site. You're working outside, painting a house or three, you need drinks and possibly lunch. I get that.

I don't get bringing a microwave. That just weirds me out a little.
digital_opium: (WTF?)
( Jul. 4th, 2007 12:49 am)
Why is it that I always get into situations that end up with me googling things like "monkey masturbation"?

Yeah, I don't know either.
Can I just say... our country does still give us the right to freedom of speech, yes?

I mean. I think so. Possibly? Maybe?

Censorship, anyone? A good book-burning?

Just checking.

RIP - [ profile] pornish_pixies


digital_opium: (Default)


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